Here, I am doing self-forgiveness from different perspectives of how we, as a society place value within and as accessories / ornaments, and put them on the elephant within a circus performance, as the accessories / ornaments make them look more 'presentable', and gives the performance more of a pizzazz. Thus, within this blog, I look at the relation between cross-dressing, and elephants wearing accessories / ornaments to make them have more of a pizzazz appearance that supposedly helps 'bring out' a circus performance, and cross-dressing as a reflection of the particular-specific energetics -- that brings out 'more of' what it is within one's mind that has become the reason for cross-dressing.
As the Person that is Being Entertained by the Circus Performance:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see an elephant perform that which I see as entertaining -- as the particular-specific physical body movements, processes, and positions that I judge as appealing to the eye -- allow myself to judge what is being presented as their 'circus uniforms' -- a delightful presentation that adds to the particular-specific performances a particular 'vibrance' or pizzazz.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see an elephant perform particular circus tricks -- from the perspective of seeing, realizing, and understanding that all of my reactions to and as the particular-specific performances, and the pictured-presentation that the elephant is presenting as a particular-specific 'dress', or 'circus uniform' -- reflects how I have defined myself in and as 'subtle' ways -- within and as how I 'dress' and present myself amongst and as others in my world and realty. Thus, am only justifying who I am -- as the nature of what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become -- through 'entertainment'.
I commit myself to -- when and as existing in a point of positive-energy experiences / reactions through and as entertainment, see where / how that energetic point as a reaction of entertainment play-out within and as me -- as that point of/as 'entertainment' is an out-flow manifestation of an acceptance and allowance within and as me that I have not directed in equality and oneness 'here'. Thus, what I 'see' as 'entertaining' is that which I am 'separate' from -- in which I created a positive-energy experience in me as a 'reaction'. For example, when I put a bra on, I suddenly / automatically get a 'good feeling' within me from the experience. Using one of my previous experiences of me putting on a bra, I suddenly / automatically got a 'good feeling' out of it because of my desire to be a man, but with female body parts. This desire came from different experiences in my life that formed / created this 'good feeling' in me when and as putting on a bra. When I put on a bra, it makes me feel as though I am making my ego less as a man while at the same time incorporating a 'softness' point -- as females / femininity, thus, equalizing both male and female together in my mind -- because of how I believed a man, in general, to be -- as positioned more in their lives into/as a 'superior' role, and the female positioned more in their lives into/as an 'inferior' role. Thus, within wearing a bra / breasts, I would channel that 'fear' of being a man -- positioned into/as a 'superior' role into the breasts while at the same time believing that because I am wearing 'breasts', I am incorporating 'feminine' characteristics -- as a point of 'accepting' femininity within/as me as a man. Thus, instead of existing in and as the expression of the moment here in/as, and equal the physical, I exist in and as a mind-equation within a polarity of 'entertainment', and 'no entertainment'. So it is to commit myself to express myself here in and as the physical, and the way to 'express' myself 'here' is to get to know me as a 'physical' being 'here' -- not defined by 'relationships' of polarity-equations that femininity and masculinity is defined as within and as what femininity and masculinity represents.
As the Elephant Dresser (the one who dresses the elephants):
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that when and as I am 'dressing' an elephant in the circus that I am making them look presentable as a circus elephant -- instead of realizing all of the relationships that have been created from and as the tacit agreements from all -- that came together into and as the statement of "This is how elephants should be dressed in order for them to look presentable / acceptable to the audience."
I see, realize, and understand that that which has become 'presentable' as the elephants' appearance for a circus show is in-fact the 'reflection' of that which represents who we are as 'humanity' -- as the definitions that 'moves' us as a 'humanity' within and as this world. Thus, I am simply validating all of our definitions, beliefs, acceptances, allowances, etc. -- that went in to create how elephants should be dressed at circus events.
I commit myself to when and as dressing circus elephants, I stop for a moment, breathe, and have a look at my relationship with dressing the particular-specific elephants for a circus show -- to not form a relationship with what I do, but to release myself from and as the relationships of me being an elephant dresser to the elephant (in separation) -- through self-forgiveness, and to thus, express myself in and as the physical 'here' equal to and one with and as the elephant -- which means that I am one and equal as the elephant because existing in and as separation to the elephant.... I might not be aware of all of the relationships that I created within me to / towards the elephant, but it is for me to be aware of my relationships to and as the elephant, and how I behave / act, conform to particular mannerisms / physical-movements -- all because of my initial mindset to and as the elephant (in separation) of particular-reactions that I unconsciously use to justify my superiority, or inferiority to the elephant (while dressing them).
As the Circus Owner
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enslave elephants for the sake of entertainment and money -- as I feed on the 'exercising' of reactions from and of others through and as 'entertainment' -- provoking ones' mind to feed on the physical for resources to establish an optimal integrity of energy-experiences as 'entertainment' -- to create the illusion of 'positivity' and 'happiness', of which the point of entertainment is only being channeled within the point of 'positivity' and 'happiness' -- while the physical processes that it took to create this 'channel' of 'positivity' and 'happiness' as 'entertainment' was sabotaged into and as the manifestation of a circus performance.
I see, realize, and understand that the more that I feed on the 'exercising' of reactions from and of others through and as 'entertainment': in other words, being the instigator of and as 'entertainment', or to make someone react in a particular way, I see, realize, and understand that it validates the minds of the ones reacting -- as I am responsible for all others -- as me as what they are participating in and how they 'move physically' within and as their participation within it.
I commit myself to do what is necessary to be done in and as the system -- to have a life wherein I am able to acquire sufficient funds, but to not create an energy about what I do for work, or where I do it at -- but to equalize myself with and as what I do -- meaning that I do it not out of spite, manipulation or blame, but that I do it equal to and one with the physical 'here' -- seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am 'here' in and as what I do, and to be aware of and as all points of spitefulness, manipulation, and blame within and as what I do in the very little things that I do / participate in -- in and as my daily living / applications.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enslave the physical as per the processes of what the elephant has to go through, the mind-relationships that the audience validated within themselves, and what the employees have to go through -- to create, in totality, the particular positive-energy experiences of a performance -- as to create this performance takes the application of physical abuse within and as the elephants. As the elephants are forced to perform particular-specific movements that appear magnificent to the mind. The audience validates who they are in and as their relationship to the mind in what is seen, and defined as 'entertaining', and the workers, who are trained to practice, and create the most optimal acts to keep the relationships that they have with the audience at an optimal integrity.
I see, realize, and understand that it takes the application of physical resources for and as everything that I do. Thus, it is to commit myself to use the physical in ways that are 'best for all', and to not sabotage the physical for the sake of the evolution of the mind in and as self-dishonesty. Thus, it is to commit myself to be self-honest in and as everything that I do / speak.
As Myself:
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I place myself as the elephant wearing particular-specific accessories, that the elephant in and as the nature of it -- doesn't have a relationship with and as the accessories that are being worn by it -- but that society, in general, has created a definition about the elephant wearing particular accessories, and thus in separation, manifested accessories that the elephant can wear so that the elephant can look 'attractive' / 'presentable' for circus performances -- which represents our definitions within/of life / living -- that has become the 'performance' for and of our personality systems. Thus, the elephant wearing the accessories that have been created for it is simply presented as a 'character' to satisfy the minds of and as the audience -- who is the collection of 'characters' that are being fulfilled by the 'presentation' of the particular-specific pictures, and 'movements' presented within and as the 'circus performance'.
I see, realize, and understand that I created relationships to particular-specific persons, places, and things, and thus, superimposed my relationships that I created in my mind onto physical reality. Thus, I commit myself to assess the relationships that I create, and that which I super-impose onto people, places, and things -- that I judge as something that is 'beautiful', or 'magnificent' in and as the appearance of it, and then to stop existing / participating in and as the particular-specific relationships -- as I create something in my mind that isn't real -- as 'beauty', and 'magnificence' -- when it really all is equal to and one with and as the physical substance of / as me 'here'.
Within this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize this is no different than me, and the elephant when and as cross-dressing -- that society, in general, has created a definition of what a man and woman is / represents, and thus in separation, manifested particular-specific clothing for the man, and the woman -- that they can 'wear' to 'express' their 'manliness' or their 'womanliness'. But instead of existing as the elephant as not creating a relationship about it, I created a relationship about how / what it is to be a male, female, or in between 'manliness' and 'womanliness' within the gender spectrum, and thus, adapted particular specific accessories, and clothing that represents 'femininity' and 'masculinity'.
I see, realize, and understand that when and as I create definitions about how / what it is to be a male or female, that I superimpose these relationships onto and as various things that I either judge as 'masculine', 'feminine' or in and as the polarity opposite within creating an 'energy' of 'rebellion', and thus, degrade the nature of how I 'feel' about a particular-specific picture-presentation that represents what I believe and perceive to be masculine / feminine. Thus, it is to commit myself to -- instead of supporting or degrading that which I have created a definition about it -- within masculinity and femininity, I release all positive and negative relationships within me of which I exist within and as the identified 'gender role' that I believe myself to be -- whether it's within the 'character' of being cisgendered or transgendered.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that that which I value as a form of an accessory or clothing that I can wear that makes me 'feel' the way that I feel when and as cross-dressing -- is the same substance / physical manifestation of me as me, and that when and as wearing the particular-specific clothing / fabric, I am validating 1) the mind-creation -- in and as how / why it has been created for / as in society, 2) the mind-relationship within and as me -- of the reason that I 'like' to wear the particular-specific clothing, and 3) the physical processes that it took to create it. For example, because of my attraction to velvet, and thus, adapting the material velvet within cross-dressing, I am validating the mind-creation of and as the reason that the material velvet has been created in / as society -- which was associated with 'nobility' -- as nobility represents the quality of the elevation of the mind and exaltation of 'character' -- of which 'character' is in-fact a highlighted 'personality' that a particular-specific person envelops -- as who they are as the mind, and lives that particular-specific 'personality' as if it is who they are -- relation to the world-system as a whole. In addition, I am validating what velvet represents within me -- as 'femininity', and 'strength', and so thus validate my relationship with 'femininity' and 'strength', and perpetuate the character that 'femininity', and 'strength' plays out in the mind within, and the world system -- as 'feminism'. In addition, I am also validating the physical processes of / as the creation of velvet of which cotton, linen, mohair, wool, polyester, nylon, viscose, acetate, spandex (to give it stretch), and silk, are all of the particular types of material that goes in to creating the material velvet. (Note: In future blogs, I will expound more on the materials that are worn, and the physical processes that it takes to create the 'designs' that have been transformed into the 'idea' of what 'women's clothing' are, and 'men's clothing', and what women's clothing and men's clothing really is from a physical equal and one perspective.)
I commit myself to equalize myself with what I wear by
having a look at the nature of what I wear -- come from because I in-fact form
an indirect relationship
to all of the relationships
/ history with that which I wear. So it is to understand the nature of what I
wear, and apply self-forgiveness to ensure that I am 'clear' with/in what I
wear. It is to also have a look at the relationship that I have with what I
wear, and how it connects to the world-system / society, and my
starting-point for and as forming a connection with what I wear -- to basically
understand all of the dynamics with what I wear -- as to not create a 'value'
about it, but to simply wear it from a perspective of equality and oneness
'here' -- as an expression of who I am with and as it.
